Time is a funny thing.  It doesn't stop, slow down, or speed up.  It is constant, yet sometimes seems to drag then at times it runs away from us and we can't seem to catch up.

I found an old posting with pics of Eli and had the realization of how fast time moves.  I literally feel like it was yesterday that I followed him around with my camera, trying to capture sweet moments when he was an infant, now he's close to 3 years old!  Geez.
 I was reminded today to live in the moment.  So important, and often forgotten.  I was also reminded of the faithfulness and compassion of our God.

This precious little man got ear tubes today, which will hopefully bring healing and restoration.   But while Michael and I waited to hear the news that he's "ok."  A sweet older woman came up to us, with the most gentle and loving demeanor, and asked if she could pray for our sweet William as she saw us take him back to the operating room. God is so good, before two words came out of her mouth I immediately thought, "she's an Angel."  True or not, she was definitely comforting us with her presence, sent from a loving Father, who knew my heart was anxious.  Trusting, but still a bit anxious.  I needed that reminder today.  I haven't stopped enough lately to soak in His love and realize His presence, I'll blame it on the business of being a mamma, going back to work, ect..But really, the fault is mine.  I am thankful for grace, yet again. When we need Him, He is there.

"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it." Heb 13:2

Anticipating beauty

Today is the first day of Spring! The anticipation of beauty, the hope of new life, the Promise of restoration and redemption.  I love Spring!

The old is gone,  new has come!

Captured joy

I love pictures and I hate pictures.  They have the ability to capture great joy and happiness but also great sorrow and pain.  This picture above, captures both.  My dad spent the last 6 months of his time on earth in the hospital...with a 2 week "vacation" at home in the middle of it. Hospitals are not like home.  I used to work in them and love them until they represented brokenness and bad news for me and my family.
I was reflecting today on joy in the midst of pain and suffering and thought of this picture above.  He was truly joyful in the moment.  Why?  Because God delivered on his promises.  The Lord was his strength and was faithful in His promise to comfort, give peace, and ultimately heal.  Plus, he had "his girls" at his side.  We laughed hard, tried to have fun, I cried a lot, but despite it all we were a family who was waiting on the Lord.  We had hope. We didn't know the answer, but we knew Who the answer would come from and trusted in His good plan.  This morning my mom text me a picture (below) of what she found in Dad's bible where he had written, "teach me" by a verse.

God is faithful.  He did teach him.  Who could endure such suffering (details I can't even begin to explain) and still wear a heartfelt, pure and honest smile that overflowed from a joy filled heart.  No one apart from Christ.  Human flesh is incapable of it.  It flows from Love.  I remember that moment I took the picture. He wasn't just putting on a smile for us. He was happy in that moment.  Christ promises us a peace that transcends all understanding as we trust and rely and wait on him in this life,  and He delivered.  I was blessed to witness the fruits of the Spirit lived out, daily, and have forever been encouraged by his faith and hope.   A faith and hope I pray will continue to be a legacy in my family for generations to come!

If it's not the weather...

I am so tired of fear.  If it's not a result of my own thoughts, then it's the weatherman who tries to stir up anxiety.  I turned on the TV (first mistake) a couple nights ago and was warned about a "possibly fatal snow storm" that's heading our way.  Come on!  It's snow people! Happens all the time all over the world.  Yet they feel they need to use adjectives like "deadly" and "fatal" to rouse us to tune in. Worked.
Our society is so fear evoking.  You have a lump, probably cancer.  Your blood pressure is a little high or your cholesterol is borderline, then you're at high risk for a heart attack.  I could go on. Lately it's been driving me crazy.  Why are we so fear based?  We have a God and Father who is in control of all!  The storm, our lumps and bumps, and our every heart beat.  We are not in control.  Yet I feel our society tries to tell us we are.  Do this to avoid that...try harder...it's all up to you. Not true.  Sure we have to make wise choices and do our diligence, but this can be done without fear being our motivating factor.

John Ortberg said, "I find that every moment I worry is a chance to practice letting go of the need to control outcomes.  There is a God.  It is not me."

I fell in love with this when I read it.  So true.  Why do we worry?  We worry because we want to control our own life.  We don't want cancer, we don't want a heart attack, we don't want a sick child, ect...but we are not in control.

Jesus says it best, "Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him" and "..do not be worried about your life..and who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life..you of little faith! ..For your heavenly Father knows that you need these things.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  So do not worry about tomorrow; for today will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6: 8 and 25-34

"Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.  For He himself knows our frame;  He is mindful that we are but dust."  Psalm 103:13

John Ortberg summed up the topic of worry reminding us that we only go through life once.  Some good things will happen, some bad things will happen.  But we can choose to be worried or draw our peace and strength from the Lord, who is Lord over ALL.

"Life is too short,

Joy is too precious,

God is too good, 

our soul is too valuable, 

we matter too much to throw away a single moment of our one and only life on anxious striving.  

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid." -John Ortberg

Sorry weatherman, you were wrong.

Greater Glory

I like writing.  Probably because I do a lot of thinking.  My mind never shuts off.  I envy those people who can just be.  No thinking, no thoughts, they can just be in the moment.  My mind is always racing. Always planning, wondering, dreaming and unfortunely worrying.  

I have thought about writing a book for a long time, but it caused a great deal of anxiety because I thought the Lord was guiding me to write about death.  A subject I have feared and been way too close to recently with the passing of my father.  

A book about death?  How morbid. I don’t even want to think about it.  But that’s the point!!!! We should be thinking about it! That’s what the Lord has been  trying to speak into my life and into this writing.  

Amy, I’m preparing you for a greater place, a greater glory....

The enemy of our souls tries to whisper lies like, "You don't want to leave these guys do you?  What if you don't get to see them grow up?"  or even worse, "What if you lose one of these guys young."

Lies!  I will never lose these boys, I could be separated from them for a short while, like I am from my father now, but I will NEVER lose them.  We will be together for eternity.  The moment God breathed life into each of us in our mother's womb, an eternal plan was in the making! How amazing to think about.  The things we love and are so tied to here on earth will always be. Family.  Forever.  

I am so thankful for the big picture, the eternal plan, things I cannot even fathom! 

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comprehension, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen;  for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

  2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Great Memories! Some new, some old.

Eli on left, William on right, around the same age

I should be cleaning. But I feel like writing. I love the fall. I love the cool weather, the Holidays (except Halloween, never liked it, wish we could just jump to Thanksgiving).  And I LOVE hot beverages of any kind!!

That's right, 52 FREE Grande drinks!!!!!!!!

Yes! There have been days when I have gone twice to Starbucks, but this little jewel above sure helps the Hobson budget! Thanks Tracy for calling me at 5:30am to let me know the new Starbucks is open AND giving away these cards to the 1st 100 people! I literally stopped feeding William, jumped out of bed, put some shoes on and left (did not look in the mirror-Yikes).  Thankfully, no one saw me in my PJ's, no bra and all.  Plus, the bed head bangs were going in all sorts of directions, oh well. The crazy things you do for coffee.  FREE coffee.

Family fun in Dallas, Geez I look tired

Pasta, shopping, long car ride, oh my! 

We recently took the boys to Dallas for a weekend getaway and had a great time.  I think we came home more tired then when we left, but I guess that's what happens on family trips.  Poor William basically lived in his carrier since we were always on the go, such a trooper. He did great.  He got a heat rash from it, but did great.  You can see Michael trying to give him a break from it, plus some tummy time at the mall, stellar Dad!!  I was drawn into Williams Sonoma.  We are so blessed and thankful for him.

Eli's first Smores experience. 

I love these kids. They are so precious. Learning, growing, changing all the time.   It's exhausting, but so worth it. 

Dad and Katie (my sister)

I love this picture of Dad and Kate.  We were on our last family vacation, just a few months before he was diagnosed, and he was soooo happy. He was always happy, but more so on this trip. I've been missing him like crazy lately.  My mom made a book for the boys about their Papa Bruce and gave it to Eli.  I literally had to hide it because it's so hard for me to see his face.  EVERY time I do, my heart gets heavy, that heavy sadness that actually hurts.  So I hid the book.  If I don't look at him, I don't feel that, so he's hiding for now.  It's been a year and a half since he died.  Will that feeling ever go away?  He recorded a book for Eli the Christmas before he died, and that's up in the closet too, every time I look at it I sigh, with the heavy feeling again, knowing if I chose to reach up and open it to hear his voice, it will wreck me for a while.  Usually a very brief while, but still wrecks me.

I have grown and I have healed, but these feelings of grief still hit me. And they are usually random. Splashing water in the tub/pool takes me back to my childhood memories of playing in the pool with him on family vacations, walking in Lowes reminds me of the MANY times we frequented the store together growing up and as an adult,  driving north on I-35 by the hospitals- ouch, driving south on I-35 towards  San Antonio toward transplant- ouch.  Those are the biggies. Today. 

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Pumpkin Spice Latte = Fall is here!!

What are friend's for? Several things, but amoung them my favorite is dropping off a PSL(pumpkin spice latte)!! This little jewel, my friend Tracy, has been one of my very best friends for several years! We were chatting this morning and she offered to bring me by a PSL! Yes please! Fall in a cup.  Love this girl!  And what is it about this season that makes me want to watch You've Got Mail?  I guess it's New York in the fall!

Our 10 year high school reunion

1st train ride at Railway Museum

What is it about boys and trains and trucks?!   We saw one driving one day,  then we played with a train set at Barnes, and now he loves them.  

Exploring "the ranch" with dad

Soon little one, not yet! 

Michael went riding one morning and took this pic, love it! 

I have a feeling this boy is going to love horses and riding just like his dad.  He is fearless.  I love that about him.  Yet he is so sweet spirited.  One meaning of his name is uplifted, and that fits so well.  He brought us such joy and encouragement when dad was sick.  His sweet spirit is evident to all who know him.  

Eli, sharing in tummy time, so funny.

I have a feeling little brother will soon be the bigger brother.  William is solid. A big baby.  One of the many meanings of his name is strong, which I knew while he was in my belly, I saw when he was born and put through a couple difficult tests, and now know as I see him grow. He is strong.  I LOVE seeing how they are different, how God has created them unique and has a purpose for each precious life.  Such a huge blessing and tremendous responsibility.   Good thing I have my PSL to get me going today! Thanks Tracy!! 

Welcome William Michael

Our new little guy was born July 6 at 10:24pm

8lb 6oz, 21.7in 

We are blessed by this sweet boy and are excited our family is now a family of 4

Could not be more precious!!

One minute he's playing near his box, the next I look up and he's in it- love it!

No words, too cute!!

Grace

“For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

My precious little one is sick. He’s had a rough week. Started with immunizations, then high fever, then rash all over, and sores in his mouth/throat. I want so badly to take it away, and to relieve his pain. I can’t. So at least I thought I could do my part (as a mom and nurse practitioner) and figure out what the heck is going on. I’ve failed there too. His cluster of symptoms doesn't exactly fit any of the classical diagnoses. It could really be a number of different viruses and hopefully not related to his immunizations.

Helpless. That sums it up. Until, I finally sat down today, put the computer and textbooks aside and opened my bible. God’s word brought me peace, reassurance, and above all strengthened my heart as I trust that He is near. He holds my baby, He knows all. He will heal Eli. I am confident of that.

My mother, who lives each day with a broken heart, reminded me of God’s goodness. When we try to take the reins and control things ourselves (as I did today frantically searching for answers) we miss the big picture. God is good, He has a plan. I wanted the answer to the problem, I was searching there for peace.

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”Hebrews 4:16

I’m covered with grace. I’m not a perfect mom, wife, sister, friend, or daughter, but I am covered with grace to help in time of need.

Hope

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,

Nor will the flame burn you.For I am the Lord your God. Isa. 43:2–3

I love that verse. Unfortunately, it takes me back to early last winter when I wrote it on some large note cards and taped them up to the wall in my dad's transplant room in San Antonio (sigh). This season of grief is hard. So many thoughts, memories, emotions flooding me daily. Longing for just one more hug from my dad, one more phone call just to check in, one more laugh......I miss those things so much. I just want more. Pregnancy isn't helping. The rush of hormones that has taken over makes crying that much easier. This is only a season. Seasons change. They don't last. Even our favorite seasons. There is a season for everything under heaven. We hang on tight to our favorite ones, wishing they wouldn't go, and we cry out in desperation for the uncomfortable seasons to pass. They will.

I am loving this season of Eli walking, talking more, trying so hard to communicate verbally. It's precious and exhausting. But such a blessing. I have such a wonderful family and it's amazing for me to think that we will be together for eternity. I will have more! I will hug my dad again, I will hear him laugh...thank you Jesus for hope that does not disappoint!

Denver and ......!!

We spent last weekend in Denver with some great friends and their 2 kiddos. We had a blast. October is the BEST time to see Colorado!! The leaves are changing and it is beautiful!
This was one of our favorite hiking spots when we lived there. It's in the foothills, not far from our old home, just 20-30mins and you're in the mountains hiking next to a stream- so dreamy.
We borrowed their backpack and Eli loved it! It was chilly, but he was a champ. So of course the next big news is that I'm Pregnant!! Another little Hobson will be here late June! I can't keep secrets very well and we are feeling blessed and super excited to add to our family! God is good!!

Paradigm shift

Life isn’t about what we want or think we need. It’s about having open and humble hearts to receive what a loving God gives. He gives life and breath today and for that I am thankful. We are not promised tomorrow. Nor are we promised the answer to the questions of why?

“ Oh the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgements and unfathomable His ways!

For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor?

Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again?

For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.” Romans 11:33-36

Truth

I love reading the Word. When I do, I find I am always challenged, refreshed, and at times comforted. After my Dad passed, (I hate thinking that, saying that, and writing that, so I will say “graduated” from here on out) I made it my goal to read through the entire bible. How can I say I’m a believer if I’ve never done that? If I’ve never read God’s entire word? He knew it so well. He had read through it several times and listened to it in the car several more times. His encouragement ALWAYS came from Truth. Always!! I miss that more than words can say.

I’ve started with the New Testament this time. Admittedly, the Old Testament takes perseverance and I don’t have any extra to spare right now.

So today I was reading in Acts about Paul and his ministry. His story amazes me. It proves that God’s plan WILL be accomplished and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Paul was persecuting new believers/followers of Christ after the resurrection and Jesus stopped him (literally, as he was traveling) and rocked his world. How can you see and hear Christ and not be changed? Paul then believed and took his story and the good news of Christ’s resurrection throughout much of Asia and some of Europe. As he was about to return to Jerusalem, a friend warned him not to go. He knew that Paul would be persecuted and imprisoned there, but Paul said, “I am ready not only to be bound, but even to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” Going on further to say how he would not be persuaded those gathered said, “The will of the Lord be done.”

For some reason that line struck a cord today. The will of the Lord be done.

At first I was burdened, thinking, what if God calls me to do something difficult like Paul and countless others through the centuries who have suffered for their faith. I really thought about that for a while. Okay. The will of the Lord be done. This is not my home. The only reason I’m here is because God has placed me here for Him. For His purpose. It’s so freeing when I actually stop and think about that. Should more illness or death come... The will of the Lord be done. Should blessing abound even more.... The will of the Lord be done. Soak that in. We have nothing to fear, The will of the Lord be done!!

Amazing Accident

To begin, here are some fun new pics of E! Playing in laundry, resting (for 0.5 seconds) and playing some more. Love it!

E and Dad getting ready to go out on a rainy day! We were so thankful for the rain last week! Loved it, fall is finally here!

As for my amazing accident, they are pictured above!! In the middle of making some chocolate chip cookies, I realized I was short 1 egg. Run to the store? No, sleeping baby. Neighbor? Nope, not home. Google? Yes!! I found that I could substitute 2 Tbs water and 1/2 tsp of baking power for an egg. I then remembered Michael wanted oatmeal choc chip cookies and I experimented by adding a little less flour and some oats and they turned out amazing!! Crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside! I'm not a baker, so I must brag. To prove, I had to wipe the dust off my Kitchen Aid mixer (after dragging it out from the back of a bottom cabinet).

#Ask5for5

Guest Blogger: Sarah Lenssen from #Ask5for5
Family photos by Mike Fiechtner Photography

Thank you Amy and nearly 150 other bloggers from around the world for allowing me to share a story with you today, during Social Media Week.

A hungry child in East Africa can't wait. Her hunger consumes her while we decide if we'll respond and save her life. In Somalia, children are stumbling along for days, even weeks, on dangerous roads and with empty stomachs in search of food and water. Their crops failed for the third year in a row. All their animals died. They lost everything. Thousands are dying along the road before they find help in refugee camps.

At my house, when my three children are hungry, they wait minutes for food, maybe an hour if dinner is approaching. Children affected by the food crisis in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia aren't so lucky. Did you know that the worst drought in 60 years is ravaging whole countries right now, as you read this? Famine, a term not used lightly, has been declared in Somalia. This is the world's first famine in 20 years.12.4 million people are in need of emergency assistance and over 29,000 children have died in the last three months alone. A child is dying every 5 minutes. It it estimated that 750,000 people could die before this famine is over. Take a moment and let that settle in.

The media plays a major role in disasters. They have the power to draw the attention of society to respond--or not. Unfortunately, this horrific disaster has become merely a footnote in most national media outlets. News of the U.S. national debt squabble and the latest celebrity's baby bump dominate headlines. That is why I am thrilled that nearly 150 bloggers from all over the world are joining together today to use the power of social media to make their own headlines; to share the urgent need of the almost forgotten with their blog readers. Humans have the capacity to care deeply for those who are suffering, but in a situation like this when the numbers are too huge to grasp and the people so far away, we often feel like the little we can do will be a drop in the ocean, and don't do anything at all.

When news of the famine first hit the news in late July, I selfishly avoided it. I didn't want to read about it or hear about it because I knew I would feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I wanted to protect myself. I knew I would need to do something if I knew what was really happening. You see, this food crisis is personal. I have a 4-year-old son and a 1 yr-old daughter who were adopted from Ethiopia and born in regions now affected by the drought. If my children still lived in their home villages, they would be two of the 12.4 million. My children: extremely hungry and malnourished? Gulp. I think any one of us would do anything we could for our hungry child. But would you do something for another mother's hungry child?

My friend and World Vision staffer, Jon Warren, was recently in Dadaab Refugee Camp in Kenya--the largest refugee camp in the world with over 400,000 people. He told me the story of Isnino Siyat, 22, a mother who walked for 10 days and nights with her husband, 1 yr-old-baby, Suleiman, and 4 yr.-old son Adan Hussein, fleeing the drought in Somalia. When she arrived at Dadaab, she built the family a shelter with borrowed materials while carrying her baby on her back. Even her dress is borrowed. As she sat in the shelter on her second night in camp she told Jon, "I left because of hunger. It is a very horrible drought which finished both our livestock and our farm." The family lost their 5 cows and 10 goats one by one over 3 months, as grazing lands dried up. "We don't have enough food now...our food is finished. I am really worried about the future of my children and myself if the situation continues."

Will you help a child like Baby Suleiman? Ask5for5 is a dream built upon the belief that you will.

That something I knew I would need to do became a campaign called #Ask5for5 to raise awareness and funds for famine and drought victims. The concept is simple, give $5 and ask five of your friends to give $5, and then they each ask five of their friends to give $5 and so on--in nine generations of 5x5x5...we could raise $2.4 Million! In one month, over 750 people have donated over $25,000! I set up a fundraiser at See Your Impact and 100% of the funds will go to World Vision, an organization that has been fighting hunger in the Horn of Africa for decades and will continue long after this famine has ended. Donations can multiply up to 5 times in impact by government grants to help provide emergency food, clean water, agricultural support, healthcare, and other vital assistance to children and families suffering in the Horn.

I need you to help me save lives. It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

1. Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)
2. Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.
3. Share #Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter!

I'm looking for another 100 bloggers to share this post on their blogs throughout Social Media Week. Email me at ask5for5@gmail.com if you're interested in participating this week.

A hungry child doesn't wait. She doesn't wait for us to finish the other things on our to-do list, or get to it next month when we might have a little more money to give. She doesn't wait for us to decide if she's important enough to deserve a response. She will only wait as long as her weakened little body will hold on...please respond now and help save her life. Ask 5 for 5.

Thank you on behalf of all of those who will be helped--you are saving lives and changing history.


p.s. Please don't move on to the next website before you donate and email your friends right now. It only takes 5 minutes and just $5, and if you're life is busy like mine, you probably won't get back to it later. Let's not be a generation that ignores hundreds of thousands of starving people, instead let's leave a legacy of compassion. You have the opportunity to save a life today

Still learning toddler lessons

Our precious baby turned ONE today! And I learned a hard lesson. I looked at him today and felt this crazy, incredible love for him. I thought, how can my heart even know a love this deep and wide...my heart is overflowing. I tried to imagine how this is God’s love for us, His children. Wow. Too much. Then I had a little scare with E tonight. He got sick, fever, ect, had a little spell after bath that freaked me out- literally almost taking him to the ER. My better half, stopped me, calmed me down, and once I came back down to earth I reassessed Eli and realized he was ok. But man! It was scary. I kept thinking, what if some happens to MY baby. And you know how it can go after the fact, all the what ifs can flood your mind and I was beside myself. I couldn't’t even imagine living life without him. Is that really how God see’s us? Yes. He can’t imagine us not spending eternity with Him, the loving Father that has numbered every hair on our head. Wow. Too much. Then I realized, Eli isn't mine. He is the Father’s. And I am overwhelmingly thankful that I have been entrusted to be his mother, to raise a man who knows Jesus, trusts God, and serves others...still too much to think about at times. And that was my toddler lesson for today- he’s really not mine. When I am tempted to have a mom freak out moment, when my heart begins to race, like it did tonight, I have to trust that he is in the hands of a God who loves him more than I can imagine. He protects him. I do trust. I will trust. We prayed Psalm 91 over our sweet baby and he is resting, healing..I trust.

For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in ALL your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone...Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him...I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. Psalm 91: 11,12,14,15

***I had that verse engraved on a money clip when I was a child for my dad, he traveled a lot and I wanted the Lord to always keep him safe. I now have it again and can’t wait to give it to Eli some day...a treasure from his Papa.