Our precious baby turned ONE today! And I learned a hard lesson. I looked at him today and felt this crazy, incredible love for him. I thought, how can my heart even know a love this deep and wide...my heart is overflowing. I tried to imagine how this is God’s love for us, His children. Wow. Too much. Then I had a little scare with E tonight. He got sick, fever, ect, had a little spell after bath that freaked me out- literally almost taking him to the ER. My better half, stopped me, calmed me down, and once I came back down to earth I reassessed Eli and realized he was ok. But man! It was scary. I kept thinking, what if some happens to MY baby. And you know how it can go after the fact, all the what ifs can flood your mind and I was beside myself. I couldn't’t even imagine living life without him. Is that really how God see’s us? Yes. He can’t imagine us not spending eternity with Him, the loving Father that has numbered every hair on our head. Wow. Too much. Then I realized, Eli isn't mine. He is the Father’s. And I am overwhelmingly thankful that I have been entrusted to be his mother, to raise a man who knows Jesus, trusts God, and serves others...still too much to think about at times. And that was my toddler lesson for today- he’s really not mine. When I am tempted to have a mom freak out moment, when my heart begins to race, like it did tonight, I have to trust that he is in the hands of a God who loves him more than I can imagine. He protects him. I do trust. I will trust. We prayed Psalm 91 over our sweet baby and he is resting, healing..I trust.
For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in ALL your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone...Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him...I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. Psalm 91: 11,12,14,15
***I had that verse engraved on a money clip when I was a child for my dad, he traveled a lot and I wanted the Lord to always keep him safe. I now have it again and can’t wait to give it to Eli some day...a treasure from his Papa.
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