Greater Glory

I like writing.  Probably because I do a lot of thinking.  My mind never shuts off.  I envy those people who can just be.  No thinking, no thoughts, they can just be in the moment.  My mind is always racing. Always planning, wondering, dreaming and unfortunely worrying.  

I have thought about writing a book for a long time, but it caused a great deal of anxiety because I thought the Lord was guiding me to write about death.  A subject I have feared and been way too close to recently with the passing of my father.  

A book about death?  How morbid. I don’t even want to think about it.  But that’s the point!!!! We should be thinking about it! That’s what the Lord has been  trying to speak into my life and into this writing.  

Amy, I’m preparing you for a greater place, a greater glory....

The enemy of our souls tries to whisper lies like, "You don't want to leave these guys do you?  What if you don't get to see them grow up?"  or even worse, "What if you lose one of these guys young."

Lies!  I will never lose these boys, I could be separated from them for a short while, like I am from my father now, but I will NEVER lose them.  We will be together for eternity.  The moment God breathed life into each of us in our mother's womb, an eternal plan was in the making! How amazing to think about.  The things we love and are so tied to here on earth will always be. Family.  Forever.  

I am so thankful for the big picture, the eternal plan, things I cannot even fathom! 

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comprehension, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen;  for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

  2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Great Memories! Some new, some old.

Eli on left, William on right, around the same age

I should be cleaning. But I feel like writing. I love the fall. I love the cool weather, the Holidays (except Halloween, never liked it, wish we could just jump to Thanksgiving).  And I LOVE hot beverages of any kind!!

That's right, 52 FREE Grande drinks!!!!!!!!

Yes! There have been days when I have gone twice to Starbucks, but this little jewel above sure helps the Hobson budget! Thanks Tracy for calling me at 5:30am to let me know the new Starbucks is open AND giving away these cards to the 1st 100 people! I literally stopped feeding William, jumped out of bed, put some shoes on and left (did not look in the mirror-Yikes).  Thankfully, no one saw me in my PJ's, no bra and all.  Plus, the bed head bangs were going in all sorts of directions, oh well. The crazy things you do for coffee.  FREE coffee.

Family fun in Dallas, Geez I look tired

Pasta, shopping, long car ride, oh my! 

We recently took the boys to Dallas for a weekend getaway and had a great time.  I think we came home more tired then when we left, but I guess that's what happens on family trips.  Poor William basically lived in his carrier since we were always on the go, such a trooper. He did great.  He got a heat rash from it, but did great.  You can see Michael trying to give him a break from it, plus some tummy time at the mall, stellar Dad!!  I was drawn into Williams Sonoma.  We are so blessed and thankful for him.

Eli's first Smores experience. 

I love these kids. They are so precious. Learning, growing, changing all the time.   It's exhausting, but so worth it. 

Dad and Katie (my sister)

I love this picture of Dad and Kate.  We were on our last family vacation, just a few months before he was diagnosed, and he was soooo happy. He was always happy, but more so on this trip. I've been missing him like crazy lately.  My mom made a book for the boys about their Papa Bruce and gave it to Eli.  I literally had to hide it because it's so hard for me to see his face.  EVERY time I do, my heart gets heavy, that heavy sadness that actually hurts.  So I hid the book.  If I don't look at him, I don't feel that, so he's hiding for now.  It's been a year and a half since he died.  Will that feeling ever go away?  He recorded a book for Eli the Christmas before he died, and that's up in the closet too, every time I look at it I sigh, with the heavy feeling again, knowing if I chose to reach up and open it to hear his voice, it will wreck me for a while.  Usually a very brief while, but still wrecks me.

I have grown and I have healed, but these feelings of grief still hit me. And they are usually random. Splashing water in the tub/pool takes me back to my childhood memories of playing in the pool with him on family vacations, walking in Lowes reminds me of the MANY times we frequented the store together growing up and as an adult,  driving north on I-35 by the hospitals- ouch, driving south on I-35 towards  San Antonio toward transplant- ouch.  Those are the biggies. Today. 

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Pumpkin Spice Latte = Fall is here!!

What are friend's for? Several things, but amoung them my favorite is dropping off a PSL(pumpkin spice latte)!! This little jewel, my friend Tracy, has been one of my very best friends for several years! We were chatting this morning and she offered to bring me by a PSL! Yes please! Fall in a cup.  Love this girl!  And what is it about this season that makes me want to watch You've Got Mail?  I guess it's New York in the fall!

Our 10 year high school reunion

1st train ride at Railway Museum

What is it about boys and trains and trucks?!   We saw one driving one day,  then we played with a train set at Barnes, and now he loves them.  

Exploring "the ranch" with dad

Soon little one, not yet! 

Michael went riding one morning and took this pic, love it! 

I have a feeling this boy is going to love horses and riding just like his dad.  He is fearless.  I love that about him.  Yet he is so sweet spirited.  One meaning of his name is uplifted, and that fits so well.  He brought us such joy and encouragement when dad was sick.  His sweet spirit is evident to all who know him.  

Eli, sharing in tummy time, so funny.

I have a feeling little brother will soon be the bigger brother.  William is solid. A big baby.  One of the many meanings of his name is strong, which I knew while he was in my belly, I saw when he was born and put through a couple difficult tests, and now know as I see him grow. He is strong.  I LOVE seeing how they are different, how God has created them unique and has a purpose for each precious life.  Such a huge blessing and tremendous responsibility.   Good thing I have my PSL to get me going today! Thanks Tracy!! 

Welcome William Michael

Our new little guy was born July 6 at 10:24pm

8lb 6oz, 21.7in 

We are blessed by this sweet boy and are excited our family is now a family of 4

Could not be more precious!!

One minute he's playing near his box, the next I look up and he's in it- love it!

No words, too cute!!

Grace

“For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

My precious little one is sick. He’s had a rough week. Started with immunizations, then high fever, then rash all over, and sores in his mouth/throat. I want so badly to take it away, and to relieve his pain. I can’t. So at least I thought I could do my part (as a mom and nurse practitioner) and figure out what the heck is going on. I’ve failed there too. His cluster of symptoms doesn't exactly fit any of the classical diagnoses. It could really be a number of different viruses and hopefully not related to his immunizations.

Helpless. That sums it up. Until, I finally sat down today, put the computer and textbooks aside and opened my bible. God’s word brought me peace, reassurance, and above all strengthened my heart as I trust that He is near. He holds my baby, He knows all. He will heal Eli. I am confident of that.

My mother, who lives each day with a broken heart, reminded me of God’s goodness. When we try to take the reins and control things ourselves (as I did today frantically searching for answers) we miss the big picture. God is good, He has a plan. I wanted the answer to the problem, I was searching there for peace.

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”Hebrews 4:16

I’m covered with grace. I’m not a perfect mom, wife, sister, friend, or daughter, but I am covered with grace to help in time of need.