Time is a funny thing.  It doesn't stop, slow down, or speed up.  It is constant, yet sometimes seems to drag then at times it runs away from us and we can't seem to catch up.

I found an old posting with pics of Eli and had the realization of how fast time moves.  I literally feel like it was yesterday that I followed him around with my camera, trying to capture sweet moments when he was an infant, now he's close to 3 years old!  Geez.
 I was reminded today to live in the moment.  So important, and often forgotten.  I was also reminded of the faithfulness and compassion of our God.

This precious little man got ear tubes today, which will hopefully bring healing and restoration.   But while Michael and I waited to hear the news that he's "ok."  A sweet older woman came up to us, with the most gentle and loving demeanor, and asked if she could pray for our sweet William as she saw us take him back to the operating room. God is so good, before two words came out of her mouth I immediately thought, "she's an Angel."  True or not, she was definitely comforting us with her presence, sent from a loving Father, who knew my heart was anxious.  Trusting, but still a bit anxious.  I needed that reminder today.  I haven't stopped enough lately to soak in His love and realize His presence, I'll blame it on the business of being a mamma, going back to work, ect..But really, the fault is mine.  I am thankful for grace, yet again. When we need Him, He is there.

"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it." Heb 13:2

Anticipating beauty

Today is the first day of Spring! The anticipation of beauty, the hope of new life, the Promise of restoration and redemption.  I love Spring!

The old is gone,  new has come!

Captured joy

I love pictures and I hate pictures.  They have the ability to capture great joy and happiness but also great sorrow and pain.  This picture above, captures both.  My dad spent the last 6 months of his time on earth in the hospital...with a 2 week "vacation" at home in the middle of it. Hospitals are not like home.  I used to work in them and love them until they represented brokenness and bad news for me and my family.
I was reflecting today on joy in the midst of pain and suffering and thought of this picture above.  He was truly joyful in the moment.  Why?  Because God delivered on his promises.  The Lord was his strength and was faithful in His promise to comfort, give peace, and ultimately heal.  Plus, he had "his girls" at his side.  We laughed hard, tried to have fun, I cried a lot, but despite it all we were a family who was waiting on the Lord.  We had hope. We didn't know the answer, but we knew Who the answer would come from and trusted in His good plan.  This morning my mom text me a picture (below) of what she found in Dad's bible where he had written, "teach me" by a verse.

God is faithful.  He did teach him.  Who could endure such suffering (details I can't even begin to explain) and still wear a heartfelt, pure and honest smile that overflowed from a joy filled heart.  No one apart from Christ.  Human flesh is incapable of it.  It flows from Love.  I remember that moment I took the picture. He wasn't just putting on a smile for us. He was happy in that moment.  Christ promises us a peace that transcends all understanding as we trust and rely and wait on him in this life,  and He delivered.  I was blessed to witness the fruits of the Spirit lived out, daily, and have forever been encouraged by his faith and hope.   A faith and hope I pray will continue to be a legacy in my family for generations to come!

If it's not the weather...

I am so tired of fear.  If it's not a result of my own thoughts, then it's the weatherman who tries to stir up anxiety.  I turned on the TV (first mistake) a couple nights ago and was warned about a "possibly fatal snow storm" that's heading our way.  Come on!  It's snow people! Happens all the time all over the world.  Yet they feel they need to use adjectives like "deadly" and "fatal" to rouse us to tune in. Worked.
Our society is so fear evoking.  You have a lump, probably cancer.  Your blood pressure is a little high or your cholesterol is borderline, then you're at high risk for a heart attack.  I could go on. Lately it's been driving me crazy.  Why are we so fear based?  We have a God and Father who is in control of all!  The storm, our lumps and bumps, and our every heart beat.  We are not in control.  Yet I feel our society tries to tell us we are.  Do this to avoid that...try harder...it's all up to you. Not true.  Sure we have to make wise choices and do our diligence, but this can be done without fear being our motivating factor.

John Ortberg said, "I find that every moment I worry is a chance to practice letting go of the need to control outcomes.  There is a God.  It is not me."

I fell in love with this when I read it.  So true.  Why do we worry?  We worry because we want to control our own life.  We don't want cancer, we don't want a heart attack, we don't want a sick child, ect...but we are not in control.

Jesus says it best, "Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him" and "..do not be worried about your life..and who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life..you of little faith! ..For your heavenly Father knows that you need these things.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  So do not worry about tomorrow; for today will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6: 8 and 25-34

"Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.  For He himself knows our frame;  He is mindful that we are but dust."  Psalm 103:13

John Ortberg summed up the topic of worry reminding us that we only go through life once.  Some good things will happen, some bad things will happen.  But we can choose to be worried or draw our peace and strength from the Lord, who is Lord over ALL.

"Life is too short,

Joy is too precious,

God is too good, 

our soul is too valuable, 

we matter too much to throw away a single moment of our one and only life on anxious striving.  

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid." -John Ortberg

Sorry weatherman, you were wrong.

Greater Glory

I like writing.  Probably because I do a lot of thinking.  My mind never shuts off.  I envy those people who can just be.  No thinking, no thoughts, they can just be in the moment.  My mind is always racing. Always planning, wondering, dreaming and unfortunely worrying.  

I have thought about writing a book for a long time, but it caused a great deal of anxiety because I thought the Lord was guiding me to write about death.  A subject I have feared and been way too close to recently with the passing of my father.  

A book about death?  How morbid. I don’t even want to think about it.  But that’s the point!!!! We should be thinking about it! That’s what the Lord has been  trying to speak into my life and into this writing.  

Amy, I’m preparing you for a greater place, a greater glory....

The enemy of our souls tries to whisper lies like, "You don't want to leave these guys do you?  What if you don't get to see them grow up?"  or even worse, "What if you lose one of these guys young."

Lies!  I will never lose these boys, I could be separated from them for a short while, like I am from my father now, but I will NEVER lose them.  We will be together for eternity.  The moment God breathed life into each of us in our mother's womb, an eternal plan was in the making! How amazing to think about.  The things we love and are so tied to here on earth will always be. Family.  Forever.  

I am so thankful for the big picture, the eternal plan, things I cannot even fathom! 

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comprehension, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen;  for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

  2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Great Memories! Some new, some old.

Eli on left, William on right, around the same age

I should be cleaning. But I feel like writing. I love the fall. I love the cool weather, the Holidays (except Halloween, never liked it, wish we could just jump to Thanksgiving).  And I LOVE hot beverages of any kind!!

That's right, 52 FREE Grande drinks!!!!!!!!

Yes! There have been days when I have gone twice to Starbucks, but this little jewel above sure helps the Hobson budget! Thanks Tracy for calling me at 5:30am to let me know the new Starbucks is open AND giving away these cards to the 1st 100 people! I literally stopped feeding William, jumped out of bed, put some shoes on and left (did not look in the mirror-Yikes).  Thankfully, no one saw me in my PJ's, no bra and all.  Plus, the bed head bangs were going in all sorts of directions, oh well. The crazy things you do for coffee.  FREE coffee.

Family fun in Dallas, Geez I look tired

Pasta, shopping, long car ride, oh my! 

We recently took the boys to Dallas for a weekend getaway and had a great time.  I think we came home more tired then when we left, but I guess that's what happens on family trips.  Poor William basically lived in his carrier since we were always on the go, such a trooper. He did great.  He got a heat rash from it, but did great.  You can see Michael trying to give him a break from it, plus some tummy time at the mall, stellar Dad!!  I was drawn into Williams Sonoma.  We are so blessed and thankful for him.

Eli's first Smores experience. 

I love these kids. They are so precious. Learning, growing, changing all the time.   It's exhausting, but so worth it. 

Dad and Katie (my sister)

I love this picture of Dad and Kate.  We were on our last family vacation, just a few months before he was diagnosed, and he was soooo happy. He was always happy, but more so on this trip. I've been missing him like crazy lately.  My mom made a book for the boys about their Papa Bruce and gave it to Eli.  I literally had to hide it because it's so hard for me to see his face.  EVERY time I do, my heart gets heavy, that heavy sadness that actually hurts.  So I hid the book.  If I don't look at him, I don't feel that, so he's hiding for now.  It's been a year and a half since he died.  Will that feeling ever go away?  He recorded a book for Eli the Christmas before he died, and that's up in the closet too, every time I look at it I sigh, with the heavy feeling again, knowing if I chose to reach up and open it to hear his voice, it will wreck me for a while.  Usually a very brief while, but still wrecks me.

I have grown and I have healed, but these feelings of grief still hit me. And they are usually random. Splashing water in the tub/pool takes me back to my childhood memories of playing in the pool with him on family vacations, walking in Lowes reminds me of the MANY times we frequented the store together growing up and as an adult,  driving north on I-35 by the hospitals- ouch, driving south on I-35 towards  San Antonio toward transplant- ouch.  Those are the biggies. Today. 

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Pumpkin Spice Latte = Fall is here!!

What are friend's for? Several things, but amoung them my favorite is dropping off a PSL(pumpkin spice latte)!! This little jewel, my friend Tracy, has been one of my very best friends for several years! We were chatting this morning and she offered to bring me by a PSL! Yes please! Fall in a cup.  Love this girl!  And what is it about this season that makes me want to watch You've Got Mail?  I guess it's New York in the fall!

Our 10 year high school reunion

1st train ride at Railway Museum

What is it about boys and trains and trucks?!   We saw one driving one day,  then we played with a train set at Barnes, and now he loves them.  

Exploring "the ranch" with dad

Soon little one, not yet! 

Michael went riding one morning and took this pic, love it! 

I have a feeling this boy is going to love horses and riding just like his dad.  He is fearless.  I love that about him.  Yet he is so sweet spirited.  One meaning of his name is uplifted, and that fits so well.  He brought us such joy and encouragement when dad was sick.  His sweet spirit is evident to all who know him.  

Eli, sharing in tummy time, so funny.

I have a feeling little brother will soon be the bigger brother.  William is solid. A big baby.  One of the many meanings of his name is strong, which I knew while he was in my belly, I saw when he was born and put through a couple difficult tests, and now know as I see him grow. He is strong.  I LOVE seeing how they are different, how God has created them unique and has a purpose for each precious life.  Such a huge blessing and tremendous responsibility.   Good thing I have my PSL to get me going today! Thanks Tracy!!